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03/26/01
Theo's Terrifically Terrible Tounge Twister.

DO NOT try this at home yourselves kids,
.... I am a professional.

For you grown ups, try to read this OUT LOUD
just as fast as you can!

I'm a mother pheasant plucker, I pluck mother pheasants.
I'm the pleasantest mother pheasant plucker that ever plucked a mother pheasant. Actually, I'm not the pheasant plucker I'm the pheasant plucker's son, but I'll stay and pluck the pheasants till the pheasant pluckin's done!

Click to hear the 'Stache say this in 9.25 seconds.

03/19/01
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is. " While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a utton. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls ight up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said
quietly to his son . . . .

"Go get your mother. "


03/12/01
Phone Rings.

"Drug Enforcement Agency, Turn in a Pusher Hot Line."

"My neighbor Billy Bob is hiding lots of drugs inside the wood in his wood pile."

The next day a full team of DEA agents converge on Billy Bobs woodshed and rip apart his pile, split all his wood open, yet find nothing. They give Billy Bob a stern warning and leave.

That night the phone rings at Billy Bob's House.

"Hey Billy Bob, Was the DEA at your house today?"

"Yup"

"Did they split your wood?"

"Yup"

"Merry Christmas Buddy!"


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